Progressions...

Tonight I have been reminded that deep down I am a massive nerd. Somehow I had managed to forget that fact until my theology class tonight made the admission inescapable. Theology was the one class above all others that I have been dreading since registration. I mean, I have no problem studying the Bible and learning more about what it says and how to study it etc, but a class dedicated to what other people have decided about the Bible and how they classify and qualify it and the history thereof ... that I wasn't so sure about.

This evening's lecture was an introduction to the course as well as an introduction to the plethora of terms that we will have to know. As the prof ran through the list of the various disciplines of theology and their definitions, my innate nerdiness was reawakened with a vengeance as a familiar pattern emerged and I realized that the different disciplines of theology corresponded to certain literary periods. There is Philosophical Theology leading into Natural Theology which sound an awful lot like the Transcendentalist movement and the Emerson/Thoreau progression. There is Reformation Theology (and really all Historical Theology) that much more literally corresponds with the time period and literary period. There is Modern Theology that also follows the progression of the literary modern period reflecting a certain disillusionment and liberalism of thought.

After I made this connection, I must admit, I was fascinated. I may not have as hard a time getting motivated to do this whole seminary thing as I've been assuming I will.

Yesterday I had Video Production for Ministry. We put together a short video in Final Cut on the very first day! That class is definitely going to be the highlight of my semester!

I had my first real class last night - Bible Study Methods and Hermeneutics. Sitting in class with a bunch of ThM (Masters of Theology) students and being taught by the president of the seminary, it occurred to me that I might just be getting more than I bargained for in this seminary education thing. As President Proff wrote words in Greek upon the white erase board and spoke in tenses unknown to the English language, I began to doubt whether I was up for the intense new world of knowledge acquisition that I am diving into. I have always felt very strongly that faith is a matter of relationship and not intellectualism. Luckily, it seems that DTS feels the same way, unfortunately that does not get me out of doing the work to become a Biblical intellectual.

In spite of being completely overwhelmed by what I have gotten myself into, I did enjoy the class. God is drawing me to pursue Him much more deeply despite my squeamishness. Throughout the process so far, I've come to realize how little I know about Him and His word. How much of the knowledge I am going to gain is pertinent to my relationship with Him and how much of it is knowledge for knowledge sake (i.e. memorizing all of the OT kings in chronological order and learning all of the man-made vocabulary dividing and defining biblical concepts to help man understand the incomprehensibility of the nature of God), I'm not yet sure.

Well, on to another day! Chapel starts in a few minutes and then I'm off to my video production class. That one, I am definitely looking forward to!

What a difference a day makes!

Yes, cliche, but frighteningly accurate at times! The dilemma that I wrote about in my previous note has been solved for me. No more struggling through the quandary of trust versus security for me. All possibility of that blanket has flown ... or is it only rugs that fly? Okay, okay, forgive the mixed metaphors, but somehow a security rug just doesn't have the same ring to it. I digress.

I got a call today letting me know that I was NOT being invited to a second interview for the full-time job I had applied for. After a very awkward 45 second phone conversation, I came to the only conclusion left: "Hmmm, I guess God really does want me to focus on this seminary thing after all." An hour later, I was on the road headed to my first class of the semester.

My first "class" was this evening at 7. The quotation marks around the word denote the very loose use of the term. Every student at Dallas Theological Seminary is required to take four consecutive semesters of Spiritual Formations. This "class" is actually organized small group times with reading and writing assignments that results in absolutely no credit hours whatsoever. The first three weeks are actually held in a class setting before students are split into groups and allowed to meet on their own terms. (I'm thinking my personal terms just might have to include Starbucks.) After attending the first evening, I think that the course will be good and worthwhile. Its purpose is to teach us to thrive in community and learn from each other as well as from books. Apparently, the course was added to the curriculum 18 years ago after it was noted that seminary graduates were sorely lacking in social skills of any kind. I find this fact highly entertaining!

This morning, I took an online entrance exam testing my Biblical and Theological knowledge. I felt like a five-year-old being required to recite the entire constitution and give an analysis on it's impact on the social and moral structure of society ... in 75 minutes. I was done in under an hour. And by done I mean completely brain-fried and totally incapable of coherent thought for the rest of the day. Hopefully this is not a portent of tomorrow's Bible Study Methods and Hermeneutics class.

The long-procrastinated update (8/22/09)

While I was overseas I was in such a good habit of writing updates every month or so to let all of my wonderful friends and family know what new and exciting developments were occurring. I have now been back in the states for eight months and in that time have done a completely horrendous job of communicating and sharing my life with those I love and do not see on a regular basis. So, for anyone still maintaining a shred of interest in the exciting --though not quite in the same way -- life that the Lord seems to perpetually amuse Himself by granting me, here's what's currently unfolding in the Michelle state-side saga.

Our protagonist returns to her homeland, nearly penniless, but with a new enthusiasm for her country and the exciting new steps before her, in the midst of a nasty and growing recession that has dried up nearly all jobs in her field. After months of unsuccessful job searching, scrounging and begging, she manages to land a temporary position that will provide her with minimal income for a few months more. Prayer seems to yield little direction, until a passing suggestion sparks into a possibility - a Masters Degree in Media and Communications from a seminary just over an hour away. Possibility leads to pursuit, which leads to acceptance, which leads to ... the word dreaded more than most any other, commitment.

And here the saga comes to a middle.

Okay, for the serious version: I want to say how much I appreciate ya'll's prayers as I've been going through a really stressful month of getting things together and making decisions as to what commitments I was able to make. I'm still in the process of procuring work. My last day at my summer temp job was Wednesday and I had to say goodbye to all the kids at the Children's Home where I was working which was kinda sad.

News on the job-hunting front has been the most insane part of the drama of my life lately. After deciding that seminary was something I was going to pursue seriously, I began looking for part-time jobs and apartments in the Dallas area. FYI part-time job salaries in the Dallas area are not quite equivalent to rent in the Dallas area!

As I was in the process of interviewing and applying for part-time jobs, I got a call from a full-time copy editing job that I had applied for back in March. They had had to put the job on hold for some reason or other (like the aforementioned NASTY recession) and were opening it back up. They wanted to know if I was still interested. The job would be 8 to 5 every weekday, no leeway for seminary students, but would have a salary that would make it possible to get my own place and possibly just be able to pay off some of that schooling as I go. This would mean putting Seminary on the back burner and taking only a class or two at night and working all day. Getting the job is still far from a certainty. I still have two more interviews to go through and deadlines for school registration and payment have come and gone.

So, classes start on Monday and I'm supposed to get a call sometime this week to set up a second interview for the full-time job. If I take the job at this point I will lose a whole lot of money in classes that I will have to drop after deadline, but I will have a steady job and a salary. I also would not be able to finish my degree taking only evening classes, so later on I would have to make a decision on which to abandon, the job or the degree.

I'm stuck with a decision to make. Do I take the job and have stability, a good income, a place to live, and put seminary and what I really hope to do with my life on hold; or do I continue to live with my parents, commuting over an hour four days a week to Seminary and Trust that God will somehow miraculously take care of my tuition and textbook bills (not to mention gas bills!!!)? At this point I'm leaning toward the latter. I've still got a couple part-time job possibilities that I can pursue and some loan money coming in in the next month. But oh, does the stable income and a place of my own sound really good!

So, in conclusion, I'm still really conflicted and having a hard time determining which direction God is leading me in. However, He has lead me this far and I know He will not stop leading me now.